The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. I’ll hold your monkey for you.” Post navigation The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down. The driver says “Ugh – that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” This is the joke that was voted the funniest in a survey of 36,000 people.Ī woman gets on a bus with her baby. I think you’re sitting in my seat.”Įxplanation: If you’re a cat owner, you don’t need an explanation for this joke! The people’s funniest joke God said, “Then you can sit at my left side.”įinally, God looked at the cat and said, “And what will you do?” The Golden Retriever said, “I will fetch your slippers and anything else you ask me to.” God said, “You can sit at my right side.” The Doberman said, “I’ll protect you with my life.” God said to them, “Tell me why I should let you into heaven.” But here’s an alternative:Ī Doberman, a Golden Retriever and a cat died and met God. These jokes are often negative about the stereotypes of these three countries. A typical example is “An Englishman, A Scottish man and a Welshman …” Often it’s an Irishman instead of Welshman. Jokes are often told as little stories, where there are three types of people. When we say a lightbulb is out, we mean it no longer works. “How many members of the Socialist Workers’ Party does it take to change a lightbulb?”Įxplanation: “One out, all out” was a slogan used by the Socialist Workers’ Party to get everyone to “come out” on strike / take industrial action. These always start “How many (type of person) does it take to change a lightbulb?” Here’s my all-time favourite:
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.ĭoctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. Doctor jokesĪ “doctor” joke is a joke based on an imaginary situation when a patient explains a problem to the doctor. He says “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.”Įxplanation: “It’s not unusual” is a famous song by Tom Jones. Here’s an example:ĭoctor, I can’t stop singing The Green Green Grass of Home.
These are based on shared cultural knowledge, which makes them hard to understand. I was amazed – I never knew they worked.”Įxplanation: A wishing well is a well (place where you can lower a bucket to bring up water) where you can make a wish – and it happens. “My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. Men often tell these jokes, and they’re also considered a little sexist and old-fashioned. Instead of b-a-r, the word is b-r-a (which means women’s underwear.) 3. But, a bar is also a hard piece of wood or metal, so you also get jokes like this:Įxplanation: “Ouch” is what we say when we hurt ourselves.Įxplanation: If you are dyslexic, you have difficulty with letters. Then the joke continues with a little story about a man in a bar. “A man walks into a bar” jokeĪ lot of jokes start with this sentence. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.”Įxplanation: Reception can mean the party after the wedding, OR the signal on your TV or phone 2. Here’s another example of different meanings of a word. (By the way, this joke is also an example of a “one-liner” – a joke in just one sentence.) But when you say “shihtzu” it sounds like “sh*t zoo”, meaning “a terrible zoo”. There was only a dog in it – it was a shihtzu.”Įxplanation: A shihtzu is a type of dog. Here’s an example of words that sound the same. Jokes with punsĪ pun is a “play on words”, so this type of joke plays with different meanings of a word, or is based on words which sound the same – but which have a different meaning.
There are also explanations to help you understand the joke! 1. Don’t forget to read to the end, where you’ll find the joke that was voted the funniest in a survey of 36,000 people. Here are seven different types of funny English jokes.
What makes people laugh? What do native English speakers find funny?
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